take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
