Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
