screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
