Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
