You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
