He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
