You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
