I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just pee around me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
