Fuck appropriateness.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
