Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
