I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
