dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
