Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
send nudes
from the living room?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
