i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
