...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
