They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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