omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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