Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
