Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
where are my eyebrows?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
