five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
