I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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