So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
