You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
