Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
