Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
