i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
