Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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