if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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