I'm lost and stupid without you.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think people are normalizing furries
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
