I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
