Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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