Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
