"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
