I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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