is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
