but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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