I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
