I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
40s are totally the cure
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
