talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need to calm my uterus...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
