Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
