Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Rumble strips road head = magical
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Randomize
