Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
