Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
