eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
