singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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