Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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