You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
