I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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