is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
