Your tits are I can't wait for
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
