i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
