Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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