I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
